I don’t want to play Disney Lorcana until I can get my hands on real cards. Here’s why.
In late August my long time friend and game-pusher David told me about a new TCG that was launching. Disney were supposed to be releasing preview cards for their new game at the D23 event, and a lot of people were pretty excited. David and I had talked about doing a podcast previously, but had never really hit on an idea, but here we could get in at ground level.
We spent three rushed days getting branding and ideas together and recorded our first episode. It released just as the D23 event was closing to try to make the most of the hype. Seven months and a dozen episodes later the podcast is going from strength to strength, with each episode picking up more listeners as the community of people interested in the game grows. All this for a TCG that doesn’t release for another 3 months.
We’ve seen a steady flow of card images being revealed from the Ravensburger mothership, and a few extra ones leaked. Add that to the quickstart rules that were published last month, and we’re now in a place where anyone with a printer and some scissors can make their own proxy deck and learn to play at home. Some community members have made mods for Tabletop Simulator. There’s even a project developing a standalone playable app for the game.
But, I’m not interested in playing the game before the launch date. Let me tell you why.
It’s summer 2005. I’ve just returned to my hometown after what somehow was simultaneously 3 years and also a lifetime at University. I’ve got a few weeks at home with my mum before my next job starts and I move town again. Time to catch up with old friends.
Sara suggested the cinema. “I want to see YOU!” I said “I don’t want to sit in the dark and not talk.” A lot of our friendship as teenagers had revolved around the local multiplex.
We settled on lunch and then a movie. Sara picked The Descent.
“I don’t want to see a horror flick at 2 in the afternoon.” I protested.
“No, it’s a thriller.” She said. “It’s not gory or anything.”
I believed her.
We sit in the middle of a half-full theatre. Sara on the left, me on the right. She always made me sit on the right.
I’m not going to apologise for the upcoming spoilers, you’ve had nearly two decades to see the movie if you want to, and anyway, I’m not going to say anything that the trailers don’t give away.
I, however, hadn’t seen the trailers. I hadn’t read the reviews. I knew nothing about The Descent.
The first half hour of the movie was typical suspenseful scene setting stuff. Friends go on caving trip. Personal tensions flare. Friends get trapped in cave. So far, so normal. Sara is loving it. I’d rather be in a cafe talking about our dumb teenage exploits.
For some reason our protagonist loses their head torch or breaks it or something. They do, however, have a book of matches. Probably because of the cinematic opportunity it presents.
The screen is pitch black. We hear the actor’s heavy breathing as she scrambles trying to light a match. As it ignites we see a close-up of her panicked face. She doesn’t realise it, but behind her we see a monster.
For the first and only time in my life I experience a proper jump scare. I’m the only person in the cinema to let out a yelp. People turn around to look at me.
The scene must have been in the trailer. No one else even flinched.
Looking back, The Descent wasn’t a great movie. It wasn’t a scary movie. But as someone who usually sits through horror movies without so much as wincing, it made me feel something I rarely feel.
So, no. I don’t want to play-test Lorcana with proxies. I don’t want to fire up Tabletop Simulator.
It’s not that I don’t agree with proxies — I love proxies. Proxies allow everyone to play a game at the same level regardless of how deep their pockets are.
It’s not that I don’t think there are enough cards spoiled to play a satisfying game. Sure the game will probably play totally differently once we have the full first set, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t have fun with the cards already out there.
And it’s definitely not that I lack enthusiasm. I run a podcast about the game. At this very moment I’m writing an article about the game. If anything, I feel it’s almost my duty to be playing with proxies if that’s what the community is up to.
I just don’t want to spoil my first impressions.
I want that first pack that I crack open to be as special as possible. I want to feel like a kid again as I leaf through the cards. I want to try out different decks because the shiny ones look good. I want to be transported back to a childhood of POGs, Fleer cards and Panini stickers.
I might break. Maybe some episode we’re working on will require me to. Maybe I’ll be invited onto another creator’s stream to play. Maybe I get bored and impatient.
But for now, I’m holding out.
Simeon Smith is half human and half snorlax. He’s also co-host of the We Don’t Talk About Uno Podcast.
